Easy Way to Happiness

I could tell you horror stories from my childhood. Im guessing that these days, the majority of us could. I could be wrong, but I doubt any of us escaped childhood without scars from some sort of dysfunction. I will just say that I endured abuse.

I grew up with an alcoholic father. This left me with more pity for him than anger. He tried to the best of his ability to teach us good values. As is typical, his addiction and relative lack of social skills left him distant, unreliable, and angry. Our family situation left my mother depressed emotionally distant as well. I was the oldest of 6 children, and felt responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone. I am not looking for sympathy here. In fact, I am grateful for my experiences, as they have given me an empathetic perspective and determination. I did not enter adulthood without scars.

I ruined my first marriage because of my lack of trust and self-love. I had sworn that I would never bring children into this life to endure unhappy parents and divorce, and yet found myself in that very situation. The pain of it almost killed me, but I emerged ready to learn and change.

Getting rid of the insecurities and fears of my ego will be a lifelong process. But I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears. And, in contrast to the average 2nd marriage stats, mine is going really well. I credit this to being willing to look at my own faults.

I have always been aware of my deep-seated insecurities. I felt unlovable and insignificant. Though I knew there must be a better way and that I was meant to feel joy, I couldn’t find tactile answers. I looked to my religion, and was open to any new teaching or method that didn’t conflict with my beliefs.

I won’t go into each of them in detail, as I would have to write a book (maybe I will). I have found yoga, meditation, service to others, extreme exercise (marathons, 100-200 mile bike rides, tri-athlons) a business that helps me personally and financially, and loving 8 children unconditionally to be helpful in my journey of healing. I wish I would have learned long ago what I know now through my business that has taught me a lot about the Law of Attraction. Maybe I wasn’t ready to accept these concepts until now. Its funny how life throws things your way when it does.

The bottom-line in actually changing my MIND -that is all of those deeply ingrained inhibiting beliefs was quite simply gratitude and the decision to be happy. Yes, it sounds simple and it is. Why is that so hard for so many to find and grasp then? I think it is just that we think we are going to get something out of being miserable. Like, sympathy or revenge. We don’t want to let our abusers off the hook. Well, guess what? WE weren’t the ones who put them there, and we cant take them off. They’ll have to do that for themselves. And, we think that healing takes so much time and effort. It really just takes a decision.

Gratitude. Yes, we can all be grateful for something on any given day, and probably in any given hour. If you start feeling sorry for yourself again, think of the approximately 5 billion people in this world right now that you wouldn’t trade places with!

You are a human being, not a human DOING. So, stop trying to do things to make yourself feel better. Just BE. We learned more about what this means when visiting Ethiopia to get our two youngest children. In the face of poor living conditions, lack of food, and an orphan epidemic due to AIDS, most people were happy. They had discovered through tough circumstance that it is not circumstance that determines happiness, it is your mindset (or soulset), and a decision to be happy.

This may sound as though I am judging anyone who has gone through horrible circumstances and is lost in depression or self-destruction. Remember I have been there. I know the pain. I know the necessary work to heal. My only hope is to help someone get there faster than me. Lets all stop wasting time and start living life the way it was meant. “Men are that they might have joy.