Easy Way to Happiness

Many marriages break up over the pain of emotional infidelity. Love and trust that was promised is taken away. The result of infidelity is both pain as well as hurt.

To find some of the sources of that pain, here is a case study of Sue A. And Joe R. As they work through Joe’s infidelity.

They knew each other before ever starting school together. Their mothers were best friends. Joe was a year older and they began dating when Sue was a high school junior. College was not a difficult choice for Sue, she followed Joe and during her sophomore year, he proposed. They are parents of three children.

Money was sometimes tight as the kids began to grow older so Joe started working late at the office to make ends meet. A few months later Sue noticed that money was just as tight or tighter even though Joe was working very late almost every night. When she mentioned this to Joe, a big fight followed and Joe left.

A few days later after Joe had cooled off a bit, he called Sue to apologize and admitted that he had committed to his men infidelity. He had not been working late all those nights. He agreed to seek counseling and wanted to work things out.

The heartbreak for Sue is great and forgiveness seems far off. Her husband she has known since she was three has been her betrayer. This was something of which she would have never dreamed. He knew more about her than she felt she knew herself. The hurt was immeasurable.

Most of us would like for this story to end with reconciliation, however most of these stories do not end this way. Infidelity’s pain is not quickly erased. The mistrust often ends in divorce.

Even if things work out, the mistrust will work their way to the surface again and again. One missed appointment can rapidly bring up old feelings. Joe also has changed. He may no longer be as willing to stick through the tough times that happen in any marriage.

Family and friends become aware of the circumstances. They may no longer come around as often and the family support system is broken. It is difficult to find anyone in whom to confide.

If divorce ensues, children are often torn between the parents. When one parent relocates to a new city, visitation becomes more limited. Many times they see the parent they do not live with only one or two times yearly at most. Children are pained by the lack of quality time spent with the parent. Parents loose the close contact they once had with their children.

The pain does not end at the judge’s bench however. If Sue is fortunate enough to find a new partner for life, her previous husband’s infidelity can also affect this new relationship. How can she ever trust again.

Joe finds that his income, which was already being stretched thin, is now being split between his new household and that of his former family. He is paying an expensive price for his marital infidelity. He also finds that he has difficulty with trust. It is not that he cannot trust others. Joe has difficulty trusting himself.